Chapter Text
When you hang out with Rick Sanchez, there’s a lack of surprise in your life. You really do see everything. Sometimes you don’t want to see things, but you get to see them anyway. Most of the time it’s a train wreck you can’t pull your eyes away from.
I had become very desensitized to anything Rick could throw at me.
I wasn’t surprised when he told me there was an amusem*nt park inside his friend Ruben. Nor was I surprised when he turned himself into a pickle - though I was confused and a little impressed.
I was, however, extremely surprised when he told me he loved me.
It all started with Morty invoking his right for a Morty adventure to answer the Vindicators’ beacon. Neither Rick nor myself were over the moon about this, but we had to go along with it for Morty’s sake. Rick hated everything the Vindicators stood for and I hated that ‘Renegade Star Soldier’ Vance Maximus who was way too touchy for mine or Rick’s liking. But besides him, and the attitude they gave off, I respected them. They had saved the galaxy many times and I think that was worth at least a little credit - even if it pissed Rick off.
But apparently, World Ender was back this time and even though the Vindicators met up a second time without our knowledge, because they hated us, they still needed Rick’s help. And you can bet your entire life savings Rick was smug as hell about it.
Unfortunately, that smugness lead to a fight between Morty and Rick - with me watching awkwardly from the sidelines - which ended with Rick leaving to get a drink. Needless to say, we found him the next morning out cold in the briefing room where it looked like he decided to lose control of his bowels.
Embarrassed didn’t begin to cover what Morty and I felt. But again, we weren't surprised.
But anyway, long story short, we ended up on World Ender’s world where we discovered someone had already been there and defeated him. And the familiar, screaming sensation in my stomach surged just before the giant screen popped out from behind the wall to reveal a video of a very drunk Rick telling us he was going to Saw our asses.
When Rick admitted he had too much to drink, I made sure to smack him upside the head.
And that was how we ended up solving ridiculous puzzles while the Vindicators were slowly killed off one by one which led to our promised arrest as soon as we got out of the last puzzle.
I stood between Rick and Morty, handcuffed and over all the bullsh*t, as the doors closed behind us. The giant monitor was above a platform and drunk Rick was looking even sicker.
“All right, by now, I've been pretty clear that I think the Vindicators are full of sh*t. But… you do have something that I’ll never be able to control. And that thing is the only part of the Vindicators with any value to me. If you know what it is, place it on the platform. Guess wrong and the pla-planet will explode. And probably the solar system, 'cause I kinda f*cking eyeballed the neutrino bombs on this one.”
Oh, sh*t.
“So,” Supernova sneered. “What’s the trick? Y/n, you're the Drunk Rick expert.”
It was true. Up until this point, I had predicted the answer to the puzzles and provided insight into the meaning behind them. But I didn’t appreciate her tone.
I sighed. “I think... no matter what we put on there, we die. He said it's the part of the Vindicators he values. That means nothing. He wants our last moment alive to be spent knowing how few f*cks he gave.”
I sent a glare over to Rick, who was starting to look slightly concerned, hoping he could read all of the insults I was directing at him in my mind.
“Jesus! Okay, open to second opinions,” Supernova said.
“It could be Y/n,” Rick said, softly.
“What?” Morty and I said in unison.
“Hey, I don't know. I mean, look, when I get drunk, I get stupid and emotional and there's no logic to it. It's, like, possible I got so drunk, I felt like I was losing Y/n’s respect since she saw Morty and I fight. And I can’t control what she believes so if she respects the Vindicators, and maybe this was my way of saying ‘okay, you can have her, but only if you know how important she is’.”
I could feel a sense of pride and smugness forming in my chest. Rick slowly looked over at me to see the inevitable smirk on my face.
“That is a... really specific guess.” Million Ants said, uncomfortably.
“Look, I... there's nothing in the room but us. I'm just using logic to connect some dots. It's the best guess I've got.”
“But you're betting our lives on it,” Supernova huffed.
I chuckled to myself, walking over to the platform. “I'll cover that bet. I get it.”
“Well, Y/n, I think you're making that smirky face because you're misinterpreting the moment. I am not being coy about some hidden love for you. I want to be really clear that, if anyone has a better guess, like, if I gave you an amulet last night, or…”
Ding.
Everyone sighed in relief when nothing exploded as I stepped on the platform. However, a chair did pop out of the floor, scooping me up and taking me back down where it came from.
Well, alrighty then.
The chair lowered me into a rocket-shaped cart which started moving forward. Drunk Rick talked to me through the monitor while I passed through a cardboard cutout environment depicting giant monsters destroying a city. I had to give props to drunk Rick for being so creative and well as productive last night.
“Sorry, I'm... not good at goodbyes. It looks like I'm never gonna see you again. I can't really roll with the hero types, and I don't... th-they don't want me around. But I want... you to know, even if I didn't show it at the time, I really appreciated you sticking by me.”
Another set of doors opened to reveal a pair of cardboard hands opening to show a rainbow and another screen with Rick on it. The rocket stopped just before the monitor where I could see drunk Rick tearing up.
“Goddammit, why am I crying? It makes no sense. You’re probably confused because I’ve never done anything like this, but I have something I want to say to you.”
A robot arm shot out of the wall, shoving a bouquet of alien flowers in my arms. That earned a small shriek from me.
“Y/n, you're f*cking cool! And you're smart. And I like going on adventures with you and hanging out and sh*t. Y-y-y-you’re the only person that makes alcohol seem like a second choice. Even if...even if right now seems like a bad example. But, baby, I love you.”
I stared at the screen as if Rick had just produced a rhinoceros from his pocket. I was sure I looked like a pop-eyed toy from one of those claw machines at the funfair. There was no way in hell those words just left Rick Sanchez’s mouth.
“I f*cking love you, Y/n. And I don’t...I don’t ever want you to doubt that even when I’m an asshole. A-And d-do me a favor. Do-Don't let Y/n know I-I got emotional. I’ll never f*cking hear the end of it if she finds out. But you can tell her one thing. Tell her I said… Oh, f*ck. Okay, I just sh*t myself. Okay, later.”
And with that, the screen went dark and the rocket started moving back the way it came. I quickly tried to wipe the tears from my eyes as I was returned to the group. And, as much as I wanted to keep them, I shoved the flowers into the rocket to hide them. I was going to keep the secret between drunk Rick and myself.
As I emerged from the platform, I saw Rick and Morty sitting on the floor and the remaining Vindicators standing awkwardly to the side. I hopped off the seat, catching the attention of the group.
Rick stood, “W--Dude, Y/n, what happened I-?”
“Not important. It would only embarrass you.”
I wasn’t lying, but he didn’t need to know the details. At that moment, all I wanted to do was throw my arms around that crazy old man and tell him how much I loved him back. But for his sake, I decided to save face.
After that, the floor began to rise, taking us to the surface. Supernova choked us for a bit before she killed Million Ants and just before she killed us, we were saved by the sound of an airhorn.
The platform reached the top and we suddenly find ourselves in the middle of a party. Dozens of humans and aliens were drinking and dancing to the music - World Ender’s dead body was even in the background where people were taking pictures with it. Gross.
“Look at that. Geez, I must've planned a whole party. Invited a bunch of people. Not bad, Drunk Rick, not bad.” Rick complimented himself, smirking.
Not bad indeed.
I reached over to Rick, grabbing a lapel of his lab coat and bringing him down to my level.
“My place. One hour. You better be sober.”
I leaned in and playfully bit his neck, sucking for a second, which I knew drove him crazy. And before he could retort, I pulled out my portal gun and quickly portaled home.
This is gonna be fun.
~~~
Five minutes before Rick was due to show up, I had knots in my stomach. I was ready for him but nervous as hell. I scrubbed and shaved every inch of my body in preparation. Mostly to get rid of the evidence of the adventure, but also because I wanted to feel as smooth as a dolphin.
I had purchased some lingerie months prior for a special occasion and tonight was the night I decided to unveil it. Of course, to Rick, there was nothing special about this night, but as soon as he saw me, I knew his mind would stop working.
Not to toot my own horn - but also completely meaning to - I looked f*cking hot.
I had done my makeup all dark and smokey and curled my hair and pinned half of it back. The bra and panties of the set were black lace with extra straps across the bra to highlight my breasts. And to top it off, an extremely short, black, seethrough robe with flowy sleeves.
I wasn’t a snack - I was an entire goddamn meal.
I was in the bathroom when I heard a portal open in the bedroom. My heart skipped a beat.
“You pull sh*t like that again and I swear to Myself, I will take you whenever and wherever we are.”
Slowly, I opened the bathroom door, leaning against the door frame as I made sensual eye contact.
“Are you sure about that, Spaceranger?” I purred, making my voice low and sultry.
Rick’s eyes seemed to widen at the sight of me but quickly changed to conceited.
“Spaceranger?” He teased.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, thought I’d try something.” I giggled, shrugging a bit.
“Yeah, maybe don’t do that again. Ever.”
Rick made his way over to me, drinking all of me in on the way. He stopped just inches away, seeming reluctant to touch me as if he would ruin what was in front of him.
“You look good, babe.”
I arched an eyebrow at him. “Good? I think I look a little better than good. Try breathtaking. Gorgeous. Smoking hot.”
I posed in all sorts of dramatic ways just to make him roll his eyes.
“Yeah, calm down Miss Ego. Don’t let it inflate too much.”
“Hmm,” I hummed. “Wonder where I get it from?”
“No idea. Come here, feisty.”
Rick grabbed me by the waist, bringing me flush against his lanky body. I could already feel the effect of my body on his. He was just shy of rock-solid. His eyes were now glazed over and dark - more than I had ever seen before. He whipped me around so my ass was pushed up against his crotch and his hands could explore the rest of my body.
“Very compromising to expose yourself in front of your boss like this, Miss L/n.”
Oh, okay. We’re going this route tonight. Bring it on, old man.
“Sorry, Rick, I just can’t help it.”
A hard smack against my ass made me yelp.
“What was that, baby?” He nipped at my neck.
“Sorry, sir.”
“That’s better. Continue.”
“I just can’t help myself around you, sir. You’re so f*cking hot.”
I knew Rick had a praise kink. He was too easy.
He groaned into my neck, peppering kisses and small bites along my soft skin. His nipping and squeezing got more intense the longer I complimented him. I could feel his aching member screaming to be set free in his pants. I made sure to grind back against him for extra effect.
He all but ripped the robe off of me, shanking the bra and panties as well. And before I knew it, I was bent over the side of the bed, completely naked, with a still fully clothed Rick massaging my asscheeks.
Rick Sanchez is truly an ass man.
“I think it’s time for your performance review, Miss L/n.”
When I didn’t respond, I got a hard slap across my rear. My heart leaped into my throat and my ears instantly burned red. I fisted the duvet beneath me in anticipation as the tension in the air finally came down on me. Adrenaline slowly filled my body, making my palms sweat and my heartbeat race.
“f*ck,” I breathed. “Yes, sir.”
I heard him growl in approval just before he grabbed me by the hair and pulled me back - his other hand hiss on my ass, soothing the first blow.
“First, you’re constantly late.”
SLAP
“You distract me nonstop from my work.”
SLAP
“You intentionally put yourself in harm’s way so I have to save your ass.”
SLAP
“Then, you command me to leave a party without drinking just to come here and find you dressed like a f*cking concubine.”
SLAP
“If I didn’t know any better, and I always f*cking do, I would say you were trying to seduce your boss.”
SLAP
Every slap was heavenly torture. My ass stung more with each strike, but the pleasure went straight to my already soaking core. I wanted to retort to his accusations, but I was too caught up in the tango of pain and pleasure to bother.
Rick ceased the spanking and attacked my dripping heat, immediately shoving two fingers inside and pushing my face into the sheets. Ass up, I became a moaning, whimpering mess as Rick annihilated my puss* with his magical fingers.
“And here you are, naked and presenting w-w-w-with a sopping wet puss*. I don’t think you even deserve my dick, little girl.”
I whined for two reasons. One, because the thought of not being rammed by his dick was catastrophic at the moment. And two, he’d never called me ‘little girl’ before and it was the hottest thing I‘d ever been called.
“No,” I wailed. “Please, Mr. Sanchez! I promise I’ll be good.”
I could feel the pressure building in my stomach as he continued to curl his fingers up into just the right spot inside me.
“I doubt it. You have a horrible track record for behaving yourself.”
I was teetering on the edge of sheer bliss, but I knew if I let go without permission, I’d deeply regret it.
“Please, Rick. Sir, god, f*ck! Please let me come!”
Rick was silent for a moment, probably trying to prolong my pain as long as he could because he was a dick.
“Come, slu*t.”
That was all I needed. I came quickly, messily, and just in time before I exploded. I was only seconds into my release when Rick swiftly removed his fingers and gave me one last harsh strike across the ass.
I made a mental note to punch him in the gut afterward.
“f*ck, Rick, that was-”
I wasn’t allowed to finish my sentence because I was being picked up, turned around, and thrown onto the bed. My head collided with the pillow and before I could complain about possible whiplash, Rick’s mouth collided with mine.
He held my arms down over my head as he kissed me hard, licking my lower lip, a heady groan escaping him as if he was tasting me for the first time. After several minutes of the hot, sloppy make-out session, I realized he was still fully clothed. Mentally, I rolled my eyes and laughed.
Rick had some sort of clothing kink where he liked to f*ck me in his lab coat. I didn’t mind it, but it did seem a little unfair, considering I was almost always bare ass naked.
I heard Rick fiddling with his belt while he was still sucking on my face and before I knew it, I felt his rock hard dick against my thigh.
And for being an old man, Rick was well hung.
He kissed down my cheek and throat until he got to my tit*, taking a moment to suck and tend to my hardened nipples. As Rick said before, other Y/n’s tit* were apparently much bigger, but he reassured me he preferred all-natural.
“f*ck, baby,” Rick mused. “You’re so f*cking gorgeous.”
I hummed. “I know. Now hurry up and f*ck me, boss man.”
Rick grunted, hating being told what to do, but I knew he was too desperate and horny to prolong it any longer. He leaned away from me, allowing me to get a nice look at his dick before he grabbed both of my thighs and pushed them forward until my knees were at either side of my head.
Yeah, I’m flexible as hell. Be jealous.
He teased me with the head of his dick, sending chills up my body every time he almost went in. It was driving me mad. Was it too much to ask to be drilled by the man I loved?
Apparently not because not long after the teasing started, Rick rammed himself into me all the way to the base. The noises both of us made were nothing if not animalistic.
He wasted no time in setting a brutal pace. Tingling fizzled up my spine and spread out into my limbs - my toes curled. He felt so f*cking good. Better than anything.
The position of my legs also made it a thousand times easier to reach all the right places. With each powerful thrust, his dick pounded my g-spot like a f*cking punching bag. And I loved every second of it.
It didn’t take too long to be close once again.
“Yes,” Rick hissed, speeding up more once he felt me tighten around him. “f*cking take it. Take my dick. You’re so f*cking tight - I can feel you getting close. Come around me, baby. I want to feel you come around my f*cking dick.”
“No,” I muttered. “No. Not without you.”
Rick didn’t like my defiance.
“I swear to myself, if you don’t come within the next thirty seconds, I’ll tie you to this bed and have my way with you without you so much as having a single org*sm.”
For extra incentive, he released one of my thighs so he could furiously rub my cl*t to speed up the process.
I wanted to resist it, resist him, for no reason other than he was infuriating and smug, but the creeping fog of wondrous sensations was consuming my body and soul. I couldn’t take it, not with him leading me on with such filthy words.
Rick watched me as I came undone around him, arching my back as I rode the waves of pleasure he’d given me. This time, he slowed his thrusts to a stop so I could fully enjoy my org*sm. It was out of character, but I welcomed the sentiment.
Once I found my land legs again, I lifted my head to see a smug-looking scientist smirking down at me.
“You know,” I panted. “I really think you are becoming soft, Sanchez. Two org*sms for me before you even get one? Holy sh*t. I think I’ll call the church and tell them you’re coming to confess.”
Rick’s smirk only seemed to grow. Which was concerning.
“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure of yourself, L/n. I popped a few ecstasies before I came over so I’m here for a good time and a long time. Buckle up, kid, because you aren’t leaving this room for a long time.”
Oh, sh*t.
My head flew back on the bed with a large sigh.
“Love you too, big guy.”
“What?”
“Nothing!”
